Have Joy in Relationship

It is hot here in Northern California, but Im not complaining since I tend to run really cold throughout the year. I say bring on the heat.  What type of weather do you prefer? 

In addition to it being hot outside, our blog family is pretty hot as well, we have many new folks to welcome–WELCOME! I am so thrilled that you chose us and I hope it is a place where you feel like you belong. Because of the heat both in the backyard outside and this virtual world inside, I wanted to start a new series introducing y’all to Relational Wisdom™ (RW).

RW, is the ability to love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself, or better yet as Jesus loved you.  If you are explaining it terms of your Faith to a friend or co-worker, you can define RW™ as, the ability to discern emotions, interests and abilities in yourself and others, to interpret this information in light of God’s word, and to use these insights to manage your responses and relationships constructively.

These definitions are a mouth full, but really help to center our intentions to experience deep meaningful relationships. Who doesn’t want that? Listen, pursuing Relational Wisdom™ is far more beneficial than scrolling through Instagram, or liking dozens of posts on Face Book. I am a clear testament to the peace and joy pursuing Relational Wisdom brings, in fact, I’ve been reflecting to my children and friends that they probably wouldn’t have liked me too much if they knew me as a teen. I was loud, didn’t consider my words or how they affected others, I just wanted to feel everything and didn’t give much credibility to wisdom of people who came before me, and I certainly didn’t look for feedback or constructive criticism from anyone.

Luckily, God did make me with a natural peaceful character I just didn’t know that until I started learning about peacemaking and RW™. Actually, if you think about it, God made all of us with a natural peaceful character because we are all made in His image and he is all about peace, grace, love, and reconciliation. Pursuing Relational Wisdom transform all of us into peacemakers which directly reflects in all of our relationships.

In the next few weeks I want to take some time to look at some relationships from the bible and from our age, because they can instruct us on our journey to becoming Relationally Wise.

This week, we start by just defining Relational Wisdom and the system in general, next time we will begin to look at real life examples from the bible as a way to understand the key concepts and how they play out. I hope you will stay tuned, and join the conversation. You can do this by commenting on a private FB group page called Community Life Labs just click the link and request to be added. (right now, this group is just for women, so sorry to all the amazing men reading this, I hope you understand)

Life is all about Relationship which is made up of 3 dimensions and 2 dynamics. The dynamics help bring health and focus to the dimensions of relationship.

Below is a definition for each dimension & dynamic, as you read them, I’d like for you to make a self-assessment (on a scale from 0-10) on how relationally wise you are in each of these areas.

  • God-awareness: the ability to view all of life in the light of God’s character, works,

            and promise. _______    (my rating)

  • God-engagement: is the ability to trust, obey and imitate God in a way that pleases and honors him.   _______    (my rating)
  • Self-awareness: the ability to accurately discern your own ability, emotions, thoughts, values, interests and abilities.  _______  (my rating)
  • Self-engagement: the ability to manage your thoughts, emotions, words and actions so that they advance God’s purposes. ______ (my rating)
  • Other-awareness: is the ability to understand and empathize with the experiences, emotions, values and interests of others. ­­­­­­­­­­ _______(my rating)
  • Other-engagement: is the ability to love, encourage, serve and resolve differences with others in a mutually beneficial way. _______(my rating)

Now, don’t get down on yourself if you didn’t score high in any of the dimensions or dynamics above, there is hope. Daniel Goleman, who popularized the term Emotional Intelligence (EI) says that, “EI is learned and learnable.” Relational Wisdom™ is EI but adds a faith component by incorporating Biblical examples and instructions about relationships.

With all this in mind, I thought it would be valuable to take a look at some examples of each dimension so we can strengthen out Relational Wisdom™ skills. I hope you will join me for this series. 

This week’s practice: in your journal
Begin to take notice of what you know as you interact with others.  And, write down what you did with what you know, as well as what you could have done better, if anything.

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