Building Emotional Intelligence Skills
Last time I wrote about 3 observations about why family can make it more difficult to live peacefully. If you missed that post, you can click to find it → HERE I promised to go to the next step of what to do when you become aware of an emotion or a situation.
Awareness is the first component to developing strong Emotional Intelligence. Awareness helps to bring focus to a situation and can help instruct you on how to channel strong emotions. As we learn to do this our empathy rises and amazing things begin to happen.
There are many ways to increase emotional awareness the main one is doing what I wrote about in the last post about family where I sat with others and talked through the differences we noticed about living with family and working with co-workers.
Putting words to how we feel is awareness. Sometimes this alone can bring great release to tensions we feel in situations. Give it a try, invite a friend or two to brainstorm about a situation and see what words best describe the emotions surrounding the issue.
Once we gain awareness about our emotions or the emotions of others, what we do with it is up to us. But if you already did the hard work of uncovering your emotions about a situation, why not take it the another step and decide what you will do with the new information.
Its a powerful thing to decide what you will do when a specific emotion rises. I had someone recently tell me about how their husband had to make a choice to keep some really expensive software on a computer or remove it. Someone gave him a computer that already had some pretty awesome software that would actually help him in his work. Since he didn’t purchase the software, he didn’t actually have the rights to the license to use it.
It took him a few days but he decided to remove the software. It was the right thing to do even though it was a loss to him and his work. Later in his life when he had to make a similar decision, it didn’t take days, but moments to decide to not accept something that wasn’t rightfully his.
You see, making decisions is usually only difficult the first time or two we are faced with a situation. I remember the first time I confessed to my part in a conflict. It was really difficult and I didn’t want to do it. But once I experienced the fruit from doing so, the next time i needed to confess, it wasn’t so hard.
ACTION ITEM: I suggest that before you are in the middle of an emotional situation, take some time to pinpoint what makes a situation difficult, and then decide what you will do next time it happens. This will help make the situation easier because, your emotions won’t be driving you, but your predetermined rational decisions will.
The same principle can be applied to an emotion that rises during conflict with family, friends, or coworkers. As you uncover an emotion that rises from a specific trigger you can decide what you will do when that situation comes up again. Keep this decision in the forefront of your mind so it is ready to use when the situation calls.
I know these are not easy concepts, which is why I invite you to reach out for coaching. If you never had a coach before, you can expect to have my support and guidance to uncover the types of tools and tricks similar to what I shared above.
There are many components to a peacemaking life and working with me will help make it easier to learn and implement new ideas.
If you need to change something about how you relate to others or how they relate to you, don’t let it go any longer.
Take the leap & Click –>HERE and fill out the free 30 minute session form on the page, and I will get back with you in 24-48 hours.
Tags: Awareness, Emotional Intelligence, family
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